Here's why - I have three - yes three - blog entries that are halfway written that I have yet to finish. A lot of the time you will see me post something and if you look at the date stamp on the blog entry it could be a week to 2 weeks old because I just let it sit and forgot to finish it.
For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 18 and have been on and off of medication for it ever since. Over the past 2 and a half years I decided to try to see how life would be without it and I came to the realization a few weeks ago that my life at this point is just not manageable without the medication.
Does this make me feel like an incredibly weak person? Yes.
Do I feel a million times better about myself and my life when I'm on the medication? Yes.
It's a Catch 22 for me - because I hate the fact that my brain can't fully function without this medication, but when I'm on it I feel 100% more organized, put together, and productive. It's something that I will probably struggle with for the rest of my life, but it's worth it to me to take the medication because my life runs so much more smoothly with it.
For those of you who don't know much about ADHD - it's not just the "crazy kid" who's running around tearing stuff up and can't pay attention for 2 minutes. It's a lot more complicated -especially when you're an adult. Casey found this article on MSN one day and when I read it I literally cried. I had never found the words to explain ADHD to other people or explain my struggles with it and how it can affect the relationships a person has. This article really explains it well. It describes my life perfectly. I am the consummate example of someone with ADHD - I am constantly struggling to stay on top of things, I walk into a room to get something and see something that I meant to do and end up doing that for an hour and not doing what I originally came to do.
Anyway - I just thought I would share this with whoever (if anyone) reads my blog. Expect 2-3 blog entries that have been half written to be finished in the next day or two and finally posted.
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You are not a crummy blogger at all! Sarah, thank you for being so honest and open about your ADHD. I was diagnosed with depression (oh this just got real haha) about a year ago. I started taking medication for it and I feel the same way you do. Do I want to take medication for a chemical imbalance in my brain, especially one that deals with my emotions? no... But, literally with the medication, the voice of reason and rational thought is loud and clear instead of a tiny whisper amongst the screaming lies. I am motivated and productive. My "spontaneous tears" are less frequent and my emotions are purposeful... not based on a hunch. I totally understand where you are coming from on this.
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